Eulogy by Barth Cunico
 

3 October 2006

For someone whose words come so easily, I have struggled to find adequate praise for our son. On September 29th, 2006, our world stopped turning. Our hearts were broken, and our lives were shattered. With a telephone call from Detective Teasedale of the Adams County Sheriff’s Department, our lives would never be the same.

Jesse was a light in our lives and he was a blessing and a joy to Rita and me. He was the big brother Danielle absolutely adored, and she was the sister he dearly loved and vowed to protect. There were also times when Danielle had to be the protector.

Jesse could even be a challenge, but thinking back, the disease was the true challenge. I don’t think any of us really understand the complete ramifications of a life with diabetes. He was hope and he was frustration. He was laughter and he was tears. He was Rita’s first born and he was my only child. He was a wonderful reason for us to be living.

Jesse was also his own person. He needed to do things his way and in his own time. This caused some frustration for us, but Jesse was frustrated too. Each and every day of his life he fought to control the disease that finally took his life.

He struggled with what he knew, and with what he wanted…. with what he was looking for in and from life. He was wise for his years and he was a true inspiration.

Jesse was life.... full of love and forever giving. He was gentle and kind, quick to laugh or crack a joke, quick to pitch in and do anything it took to ease someone's burden. Jesse touched lives. He changed lives.... I don’t think we’ll ever realize the extent of Jesse’s influence on everyone he met.

In 32 years Jesse had lived more than I have in 55. He was strength and goodness.... He was a smile. Jesse loved children, he loved people. He would stand at the entry of Wal-Mart holding the door open until the parking lot was emptied..... my heart aches for the sound of his voice.

Jesse’s passing was no accident, this was all part of the Lord's plan. Out of tragedy must come good. From the carnage there must come comfort. From the despair, there must be hope. As family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers offer their condolences in tears, our pain is eased. Friendships once lost, have been renewed. Faces that were previously not familiar to us will now be people with names, with a common bond, a shared love for this young man who touched our lives.

While I feel cheated at not having the chance to have him longer, to watch him grow, meet the girl of his dreams who would be his wife, hold his babies in my arms the way I held him, I am grateful for the time I did have to be his father and to be his friend. I believe that when his lifeless body was found by the apartment staff, he was treated with the gentleness and tenderness that he would have had from one of us, his family, who loved him dearly. We are all grateful to all those who were there for Jesse.

Jesse has now passed from this life into the next. The closest we can be to heaven, while on this earth, is in birth and in death. He fulfilled what he needed to do here on earth and it was time for him to return to his Father in Heaven. He has been called home to a new life, a mission that is all just a part of the plan.

While our hearts ache from our loss, we should take comfort in knowing he is safe and he is in the hands and arms of his loving family who have gone before him. He is with a loving Heavenly Father who needs him in Heaven to continue on in his Eternal progression.

We saw the spot where he died, we touched the carpet where he fell, and we wept for the emptiness we feel. We wept with our hearts broken and aching with the longing to see him one last time, to say a parting word, to feel one last hug. He was not able to physically hug us goodbye, but last night he joined us to ease in our despair. He did his infamous “Chippendale dance”* for his mother and sister. We felt a sense of relief knowing he was with us in spirit, talking to our hearts and telling us of his love.

I’m sure he would tell each of us, "Don't worry, everything will be OK”. Yes, our son Jesse was an incredible human being, and finally he is safe and we know he is happy. While we will always miss him and feel the aching emptiness of this loss, we can remember the good times, the funny things he did. We can laugh and we can smile. We will have our memories.

Our lives have been forever changed. Out of tragedy there comes some good. We look forward to the day when we will all be together again.

Please remember this young man. Do not forget how he has touched your life. There is a quote that says, "By the time that I die, I want it to have mattered that I have lived". It mattered that Jesse lived. We are all the better to have had the privilege of knowing and loving him. Now it is our turn to "make it matter" that we have lived. May the Lord bless and take care of our beloved Jesse.

I now realize the words came more freely than I thought possible. I’d like to close with a scripture Jesse shared with me during my Mother’s passing:

Revelations 21: 4,5

“And he (God) will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning, nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away…these words are faithful and true”.

We were all staying at my dear friend Walt Eck's house, and as we were all sitting around the dining room table, Walt mentioned that on occasion, his wife Maria had demonstrated psychic abilities. I was skeptical, but listened with interest. Later in the evening Maria was telling Danielle that Jesse was there with her and he was OK. At some point she was talking about how she and Walt used to dance. Then, out of nowhere, she said the word "Chippendales". In utter amazement, I asked her to repeat what she had just said. She became very clammy and at the exact same time, Danielle's palms began to sweat! She continued to say Jesse was there with us, and he was doing a "Chippendale dance". You have to understand Maria speaks very little English (they live in Mexico half the year... where she's from), and she would have no interest in Saturday Night Live. Nor did she know anything about the events at the Italian restaurant that afternoon. She said Jesse was twirling something over his head, and then she started gyrating her hips and said, now he's doing this. All of us were in shock. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. The hair on my body was standing on end for several minutes.... it was all so surreal!!!!!

We all felt Jesse's presence and at least for those few moments, there was some sense of comfort.

Thank You

On June 29^th, 1974, Rita and I were blessed with the birth of our son, Jesse Rae Cunico. It was the most glorious day of my life.

God called Jesse home to the Kingdom of Heaven on September 29^th, 2006. It was a day of devastation and utter despair.

I must now adjust to a new world that will never again feel quite right, trying to carry on despite numbing pain, trying perhaps to put on a brave face - for those around me. My pain is eased knowing of  Jesse's close walk with the Lord.

Please accept my heart-felt thanks for your kind words and outpouring of love and affection.

Many thanks and much love,

Barth P. Cunico, Jr.